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More whining….

Monday, March 3, 2008

 Today didn’t start off well to begin with and I’m hoping that it will at least get better as the day goes on.  Lil called to ask when I was going to be depositing her share of my money in the bank account, that’s now $565 a month.  $300 for rent and the remaining to help pay a bill, that while in her name, is my bill.  However, in my defense, I wasn’t able to pay because I was giving her all my money.  I have less take home pay then I did before because of my 401k and now somehow I’m back to giving her close to $600 a month from my monthly paycheck.   I don’t have anything.  I get to survive on $100 until my next payday.  I suppose I would feel better about it, if I didn’t know that she was blowing $50 to $60 a week on buying breakfast on her way to work alone.  I’m just so frustrated.  I feel like I’m always scrounging for money.  I gave her my entire X-mas bonus to pay for her apartment.  I really wasn’t able to buy any x-mas presents for anyone and yet she still expected me to buy something for her and a birthday present to boot.   I want to start to school in the fall but depending on my aid package I might not get to do that since I’m not going to be able pay my EFC, since I’m giving all of my money to her.  On top of which, she’s looking for another job again.  Scratch that… she’s looking for another job again and I’m doing all of the work…  I can’t even find a 2nd job that will hire me.  I don’t want to start my other job again, but it’s like that’s what she’s driving me to do and I don’t want to that anymore.  Just the thought of it depresses me.  I don’t miss it at all and I’m not doing it again.  Every time the phone rings and I see it’s from her, there’s always this internal sigh and a quick query as to whether I want to pick it up because it’s either going to be bitching about whoever she’s angry at or a request to do something for her.  “Wanna do me a favor?” is going to be etched on her tombstone. I can’t do this anymore.  I was finally starting to feel okay and now all I want to do is cry because I’m so stressed out and frustrated. I don’t even have enough from 1 paycheck to pay her in addition to paying my own bills, so now I’m saving up for 2 paychecks.  I should probably just mention that to her, but I’m thinking it’s pay her now or pay her later. 

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2 Comments
  1. tenacitus permalink

    That sucks that you are in such a tough situation. Hopefully things will improve

  2. stankerbell permalink

    You know I read that post now and I cringe…. I’m not going to delete it though, it’ll be a reminder of the space I don’t want to be in… 🙂

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